This was the 5th turtle, Assotello. He didn't like pizza very much.

Looking at the curtains and the way your son said "Daaaad". It's not the USB port on the f...

Until gravity takes over and gives you a rude awakening.

It does save time at the bus stop.

Pretty disgusting but the gagging will teach them.

I did the same with my girlfriend, I lift 200 pounds now...

I think daddy cheated a bit.

Lol. Hope he is wearing his seatbelt.

That will cause some burning sensation when peeing.

A hat won't hide your blondeness, neither does the crash landing.

You see the second customer think if he can get away with no paying.

Probably drunk as hell, but at least he tried to take the subway.

She almost gave him a heart attack.

You should feed him before you go out...

Not a great way to impress a lady my friend!

At least he got out.

Mother catches her kid trying to comb his hair with a hair clipper.

I think somewhere out there someone bought a sex robot toy which makes disappointing Ho Ho Ho sounds...

Well she said yes, but the neighbours had other things to worry about.

Guy celebrates his car's 400.000 miles marker with his best mate who clearly thinks he lost his mind...

That will beep in his right ear for a while.

Cool magic trick everyone can learn ;-)

I guess he tried to make a valid point about the subject.

Guy accidentally fires his gun in a rifle dancing ritual and shoots off his own ass.

Wait! You forgot your helmet!

Friend with benefit haha

That's quick! Now let's have beers.